Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

22.8.09

History 101

...or 'Captain Procrastinator'™




There is an interesting entry in Wikipedia regarding Thierville, France with respect to War casualties:

"In France, where the human cost of War was higher than in Britain, Thierville was remarkable as the only village in all of France with no men lost from World War I, nor any memorials constructed in the subsequent period. Amazingly, Thierville also suffered no losses in the Franco-Prussian War and World War II, France’s other bloody war of the modern era."

Time and again, it seems the promise of the Hereafter, is God's MO for how Justice is meted out and what is percieved to be a time lag in realizing such Justice is nothing other than to allow for a way to Respond Mercifully rather than React Viscerally in settling a score.

That is why it is best to stick to 'You Shall Not Kill' and 'Vengeance is Mine! Says the Lord.'

12 Yusuf (Joseph)
12:109 وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَا مِن قَبْلِكَ إِلاَّ رِجَالاً نُّوحِي إِلَيْهِم مِّنْ أَهْلِ الْقُرَى أَفَلَمْ يَسِيرُواْ فِي الأَرْضِ
فَيَنظُرُواْ كَيْفَ كَانَ عَاقِبَةُ الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِهِمْ وَلَدَارُ الآخِرَةِ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِينَ اتَّقَواْ أَفَلاَ تَعْقِلُونَ

12:109 And We never sent before you any but men, from among the people of their own communities, bearing our Revelation. Do they never journey about the Earth and see what happened to those who lived before them?-And haven’t they learned that to those who are conscious of God the life in the Hereafter is indeed better? Will you not reason?

10 Yunus (Jonah)
10:98 فَلَوْلاَ كَانَتْ قَرْيَةٌ آمَنَتْ فَنَفَعَهَا إِيمَانُهَا إِلاَّ قَوْمَ يُونُسَ لَمَّآ آمَنُواْ
كَشَفْنَا عَنْهُمْ عَذَابَ الخِزْيِ فِي الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَمَتَّعْنَاهُمْ إِلَى حِينٍ

10:98 There has never been any community that attained to faith and (in so doing) benefited by its faith, except the people of Jonah. When they came to believe, We removed from them the suffering of disgrace in the life of this world, and allowed them ease (pleasure) for their term.

84 Inshiqaaq (Splitting)
لَتَرْكَبُنَّ طَبَقًا عَن طَبَقٍ 84:19

84:19 you will (surely) travel from stage to stage (level to level, plane to plane)

26.6.09

When You're A Zero





There is no zero in the first 31 digits of Pi !


Shake it like a ladder to the Sun
Makes me feel like a madman on the run
Find me, never, never far gone
So get your leather, leather, leather on, on, on, on

You're a Zero....
What's your name? 
No one's gonna ask you
Better find out where they want you to go
Try and hit the spot, get to know it in the dark
Get to know it whether you're crying, crying, crying, oh, oh
Can you climb, climb, climb higher? --Song lyrics Zero--Yeah Yeah Yeahs 





Some undefined while back some unidentified One, asked what the Zero song lyrics mean.
Apparently 'You're a Zero' is meaningless to all those Ones out there.

The human  body is essentially an organic electrochemical system. 

And as such it would be expected to have, and as it turns out, does have an electromagnetic resonance frequency.

For the Human brain, brain waves range according to the following frequencies:

Alpha wave-- (8-12 Hz)
Delta wave – (0.1–4 Hz)
Theta wave – (4–7 Hz)
Mu wave – (8–13 Hz)
Beta wave – (12–30 Hz)
Gamma wave – (25–100 Hz)



And it is speculated that in other parts of the body they range as follow:

Spinal Column --(10-12 Hz)
Chest Wall-- (50-100 Hz)
Feet (Standing with knees flexed vs. Rigid posture)-- (2 -20 Hz)

So, conceivably, an articulating Human antenna (that's why all the antenna jokes).

And if some brilliant Entity wanted to mess with the natural order of things and Enhance the Human (for lack of a better description), these frequency ranges may be modified to achieve unexpected or by God's Will Miraculous Outcomes.

It is commonly known that the Sky has a natural frequency and in counterpoint so does the Earth, by way of a geomagnetic frequency radiation.

A person walking around with their feet on the ground and their head in air (especially, the Sky) is making contact with both the Sky and the Earth. And generally, it is not of any great consequence and taken for granted that they can walk around, eating, playing, working, and at the end of a day, sleeping.

That is until they 'short circuit' due to some clever manipulation, or frequency matching, or 'enhancement' that would tune the body's natural frequencies to effectively 'connect' or 'resonate' with the Sky-to-Earth open circuit.

In essence, Zero out, that individual and their once-taken-for-granted oblivious erstwhile life.


We The People...Want
















10.6.08

The One About The Fig And The Date

The early Muslim community while protecting itself from hostile 'enemies' (not Jews or Christians, but for the most part idol worshippers who resented them cutting into their business trade by doing away with idol worship) would often find themselves enjoying the spoils of war. While the spoils were gathered to and meted out by the Prophet, he (PBUH) rarely ever kept even enough to feed his own household and he would not ask for charity from others when his supplies ran low, but that didn't keep the needy from going to him to ask.

So sometimes charity was a simple smile, a kind word, or what amounted to dispensing or swapping local fruits.

Having given you the set up, here is the one about the Fig and the Date:

Mohammed (PBUH): Who gives a Fig? Who needs a Date?

See, it's only funny in English.

31.5.06

The Eye of the Needle


The dangers to which we are exposed from our Women must now be manifest to the meanest capacity in Spaceland. If even the angle of a respectable Triangle in the middle class is not without its dangers; if to run against a Working Man involves a gash; if collision with an Officer of the military class necessitates a serious wound; if a mere touch from the vertex of a Private Soldier brings with it danger of death; -- what can it be to run against a woman, except absolute and immediate destruction?

And when a Woman is invisible, or visible only as a dim sub-lustrous point, how difficult must it be, even for the most cautious, always to avoid collision!
Many are the enactments made at different times in the different States of Flatland, in order to minimize this peril; and in the Southern and less temperate climates, where the force of gravitation is greater, and human beings more liable to casual and involuntary motions, the Laws concerning Women are naturally much more stringent. But a general view of the Code may be obtained from the following summary: --
1. Every house shall have one entrance on the Eastern side, for the use of Females only; by which all females shall enter "in a becoming and respectful manner" and not by the Men's or Western door.
2. No Female shall walk in any public place without continually keeping up her Peace-cry, under
penalty of death.
3. Any Female, duly certified to be suffering from St. Vitus's Dance, fits, chronic cold
accompanied by violent sneezing, or any disease necessitating involuntary motions, shall be instantly destroyed.

Excerpt from Flatland, With Illustrations
by the Author, A SQUARE (EDWIN A. ABBOTT), 1884