Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts


Why I Am Weird

But my Mother is Flat Out Scary!

Enough Stuff About the Wife (I really tried not to take it personally for over 17 years, but since they started using my name I find that they really may not know what they are doing after all--I thought it was just a hazing process).

{Addendum: September 9, 2013 20:13; You know, 'Dex', you may think it's been about a year since you last saw me, but I assure you that it has been only about 6 months since I saw you last in the vicinity of Union Station, downtown LA. And while you may think me an old lady, I assure you my age is appropriate to that of what I know to be my children who are now in their 20's--besides, I wasn't under the impression that I am trying to impress you--Steve0 is very outspoken when it comes to such matters...And while it is only my age that you find remarkable, I seem to recall your eyes were a clearer, larger, blue than the grey-blue ones you had when I saw you on the bus this evening.}

I cannot knowingly violate any of the following tenets although I can unequivocally say my erstwhile and challenger 'husbands' are in rank violation of all of the following:

Quran Chapter and Verse

Surah 2 Al-Baqara (The Cow)

وَلاَ تَنكِحُواْ الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنَّ
وَلأَمَةٌ مُّؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِّن مُّشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ
وَلاَ تُنكِحُواْ الْمُشِرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُواْ
 وَلَعَبْدٌ مُّؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ مِّن مُّشْرِكٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ
أُوْلَـئِكَ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى النَّارِ
 وَاللّهُ يَدْعُوَ إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ وَالْمَغْفِرَةِ بِإِذْنِهِ
وَيُبَيِّنُ آيَاتِهِ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَذَكَّرُونَ (2:221
2:221 And do not marry idolatresses until they believe;
For, a believing bond woman is better than an idolatress though she please you;
and do not marry idolaters until they believe;
for a believing bond man is better than an idolater though he please you.
These beckon you to the fire (Hell),
and God Calls you to the Garden (Eden) and Forgiveness by His Grace.
And He expounds His Revelations to mankind (nas) so that they may reflect (on them, consider them).

وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النَّسَاء فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ
 أَوْ سَرِّحُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ
وَلاَ تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارًا لَّتَعْتَدُواْ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُ 
وَلاَ تَتَّخِذُوَاْ آيَاتِ اللّهِ هُزُوًا وَاذْكُرُواْ نِعْمَتَ اللّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ
 وَمَا أَنزَلَ عَلَيْكُمْ مِّنَ الْكِتَابِ وَالْحِكْمَةِ يَعِظُكُم بِهِ
وَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ
 وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللّهَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ (2:231
2:231 And when you divorce women, and they reach the end of the ordained waiting period, retain them in a fair manner or release them in a fair manner.
But DO NOT keep them against their will only to hurt them, for whoever does this indeed sins against their own self (SteveH., a playback of what the in-house close-circuit camera captured of  my ER visit to Cedar Sinai on or about April 19-20, 2013, and keep quiet please, once and for all.)
And do not take God's Signs in jest and remember God's Grace over you,
And whatever is Revealed to you of the Book (Scripture), and the discernment (wisdom, good judgment) He admonishes you within it.
And remain conscious of God,
and know that God is truly Aware of Everything (Omniscient).

وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاء
أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ
عَلِمَ اللّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ
لاَّ تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلاَّ أَن تَقُولُواْ قَوْلاً مَّعْرُوفًا
 وَلاَ تَعْزِمُواْ عُقْدَةَ النِّكَاحِ حَتَّىَ يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ
وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ
 فَاحْذَرُوهُ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ (2:235
2:235 And you incur no blame if you openly make a marriage proposal to [any of] these women, or if you keep such intentions to yourself.
God knows that you intend to marry them.
Do not plight your troth with them in secret, except to speak to them in a decent (known, polite) manner. 
(What about Your clandestine conversation with Me at RFD on June 23, 2013 was decent, or polite?--Inflammatory and vulgar was more like it and that's why the tacit retort in-kind, and I was surprised your companion actually apprised You I thought as much--I'm entitled to keep my own private counsel).
And do not proceed with tying the marriage-knot before the proscribed period has come to its end. (Typically on the order of 4 months unless the woman is pregnant--not decades!)
And know that God Knows what is in your inner-selves (souls).
Therefore, remain conscious of Him and know, too, that God is Forgiving, Forbearing.

وَإِن طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ
وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ
إَلاَّ أَن يَعْفُونَ أَوْ يَعْفُوَ الَّذِي بِيَدِهِ عُقْدَةُ النِّكَاحِ
وَأَن تَعْفُواْ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَى وَلاَ تَنسَوُاْ الْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ
 إِنَّ اللّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ (2:237
2:237 And should you divorce them before you touch them (consummate the marriage),
and you have given them their dowries, then half of what you pledge (belongs to them),
unless they (the women) agree to forego it, or he who holds the marriage tie agrees to forgo his half.
To forgo it draws you closer to piety (taqwa), and do not be remiss in the promises you make amongst yourselves.
Indeed, God Is Witness over whatever you do.

Surah 4 An-Nisa (The Women)

وَآتُواْ النَّسَاء صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً
فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَيْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا
 فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَّرِيئًا (4:4
4:4 And give the women (you marry) their marriage portion in the spirit of a free gift,
and should they gift you a portion of it of their own will, (i.e., do not coerce or defraud them of it)
absorb it as your own wealth and enjoy it.

وَابْتَلُواْ الْيَتَامَى حَتَّىَ إِذَا بَلَغُواْ النِّكَاحَ
فَإِنْ آنَسْتُم مِّنْهُمْ رُشْدًا
 فَادْفَعُواْ إِلَيْهِمْ أَمْوَالَهُمْ وَلاَ تَأْكُلُوهَا إِسْرَافًا وَبِدَارًا أَن يَكْبَرُواْ
 وَمَن كَانَ غَنِيًّا فَلْيَسْتَعْفِفْ
 وَمَن كَانَ فَقِيرًا فَلْيَأْكُلْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
 فَإِذَا دَفَعْتُمْ إِلَيْهِمْ أَمْوَالَهُمْ فَأَشْهِدُواْ عَلَيْهِمْ
وَكَفَى بِاللّهِ حَسِيبًا (4:6
4:6 And challenge (test to prove) orphans until they reach marriageable age;
should you find them to be of sound judgment,
then pay them their inheritance and do not consume their wealth wastefully and in haste before they grow up. (This is rather self-serving, but I am leveling this blame squarely on my children's father.)
If (the guardian) is rich, abstain generously (from using the orphans' due),
and if (the guardian) is needy, spend conscientiously.
And when you deliver their inheritance (wealth, money) to them, have a witness present.
And it suffices that God Takes Account (Reckons, Reconciles).

Get Fuzzy July 8, 2013
Not exactly relevant to what's here, but may answer the question,
 'Is that why this Yves so Jealous?
"Jealous Inbreds"
(Who is he/she anyway?)
حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ وَعَمَّاتُكُمْ وَخَالاَتُكُمْ
وَبَنَاتُ الأَخِ وَبَنَاتُ الأُخْتِ
وَأُمَّهَاتُكُمُ اللاَّتِي أَرْضَعْنَكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُم مِّنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ
وَأُمَّهَاتُ نِسَآئِكُمْ وَرَبَائِبُكُمُ اللاَّتِي فِي حُجُورِكُم مِّن نِّسَآئِكُمُ اللاَّتِي دَخَلْتُم بِهِنَّ
 فَإِن لَّمْ تَكُونُواْ دَخَلْتُم بِهِنَّ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ
وَحَلاَئِلُ أَبْنَائِكُمُ الَّذِينَ مِنْ أَصْلاَبِكُمْ
وَأَن تَجْمَعُواْ بَيْنَ الأُخْتَيْنِ إَلاَّ مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ
 إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا (4:23
4:23 Prohibited (Forbidden) to you are your mothers and your daughters and your sisters and your paternal aunts and your maternal aunts,
and (nieces, both) the daughters of your brothers and the daughters of your sisters,
and your wet-nurses, and your sisters who shared wet-nurses,
and the mothers of your wives (mothers-in-law), and daughters under your protection born of women whom you have conjugal ties,
but if you have no conjugal relations (with their mothers), there is no sin (in marrying their daughters). and (also forbidden are) the wives of your biological sons and to join between sisters (together), except for what's been in the past.
Indeed, God Is Forgiving, Merciful.
(See, the problem I am having with SteveH? I know He is married (and not to me, but it may be to my late great sister), and I am no home wrecker. But if I am still mistaken about that, I would have to be an alien to not fall under any of these prohibitions--which brings up the whole interspecies thing in which case I am no Captain Kirk, either).

 Surah 5 Al-Ma'idah (The Table Spread)

الْيَوْمَ أُحِلَّ لَكُمُ الطَّيِّبَاتُ
وَطَعَامُ الَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ الْكِتَابَ
حِلٌّ لَّكُمْ وَطَعَامُكُمْ حِلُّ لَّهُمْ
وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ
إِذَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ
وَلاَ مُتَّخِذِي أَخْدَانٍ
 وَمَن يَكْفُرْ بِالإِيمَانِ فَقَدْ حَبِطَ عَمَلُهُ
وَهُوَ فِي الآخِرَةِ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ (5:5
5:5 Today lawful to you are all the good things.
And the food of those given Scripture (before you)
is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them.
And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you),
once you give them their marriage portions and live with them honorably, and not in fornication.
And not take them as secret liaisons. (See? Right here, SteveH-- popping into my kitchen (or foot of my bed) as the 'Invisible Man' (aka I_M) is not allowed--even if  you don't care who 'she' is or just to thank me for the 'invisibility cloak').
And whoever belies the faith, his works are in vain,
and he (she/they) will be among the losers in the Hereafter.

 Surah 24 Al-Nour (The Light)
وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا حَتَّى يُغْنِيَهُمْ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ
 وَالَّذِينَ يَبْتَغُونَ الْكِتَابَ مِمَّا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ فَكَاتِبُوهُمْ إِنْ عَلِمْتُمْ فِيهِمْ خَيْرًا
 وَآتُوهُم مِّن مَّالِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي آتَاكُمْ
وَلَا تُكْرِهُوا فَتَيَاتِكُمْ عَلَى الْبِغَاء
 إِنْ أَرَدْنَ تَحَصُّنًا لِّتَبْتَغُوا عَرَضَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَمَن يُكْرِههُّنَّ
فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ مِن بَعْدِ إِكْرَاهِهِنَّ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ (24:33
24:33 And those not having the means to marry shall keep chaste until God grants them means out of His bounty.
And if any of those whom you rightfully possess desire a deed (of freedom), write it out for them if you are aware of any goodness in them. (Uh-oh, is someone's virtue being called into question?)
And give them [their share] of God's wealth that He has given you.
And do not, in order to gain some of the fleeting pleasures of this worldly life, coerce your maidens into whoredom when they prefer chastity.
And if anyone should coerce them, then, verily, after they have been compelled,
God will Forgive them and Be Merciful to them.

وَالْقَوَاعِدُ مِنَ النِّسَاء اللَّاتِي لَا يَرْجُونَ نِكَاحًا
 فَلَيْسَ عَلَيْهِنَّ جُنَاحٌ أَن يَضَعْنَ ثِيَابَهُنَّ غَيْرَ مُتَبَرِّجَاتٍ بِزِينَةٍ
وَأَن يَسْتَعْفِفْنَ خَيْرٌ لَّهُنَّ
 وَاللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ (24:60
24:60 And those women advanced in years (past childbearing) that have no request (hope) for marriage, are blameless should they shed their outer garments without showcasing their adornments (beauty). (According to a recent encounter with one of my brothers who said, "OMG, You're really old!"--that's that about the marriage prospects, and hopefully puts an end to the 'dead-ended wife' routine that leaves me without so much as a dinner companion).
If they refrain (from doing so) it is better for them,
For God is All-Hearing, Omniscient.

 Surah 25 Al-Furqan (The Criterion)
وَهُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ مِنَ الْمَاء بَشَرًا
 فَجَعَلَهُ نَسَبًا وَصِهْرًا
 وَكَانَ رَبُّكَ قَدِيرًا (25:54
25:54 And He it is Who Created man from water (ma'),
and made for him lineage by blood and lineage by marriage; (And both my erstwhile and SteveH 'husbands' managed to break both my ties of kith and kin for me--in fact, SteveH brags about it. 'I divorced her!' He said. and rattles off a litany of other things He did to 'pss Her of', including availing himself of her personal possessions like her iphone.  So why the '' pursuit thereafter? Usually, it's a mutual parting of the ways. And given how you are so proud of Your efforts to sour me on the whole marriage concept, why spoil the desired outcome? I never went back once I got my walking papers, despite those in your camp saying, "Most people would just return home."--Like, duh! You all think I didn't hear you planning to get me thrown out of my house? I just know not to engage in a losing battle with unknown entities of questionable motives),
for your Lord is Almighty (Omnipotent).

 Surah 33 Al-Ahzab (The Confederates)
وَإِذْ تَقُولُ لِلَّذِي أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَأَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِ أَمْسِكْ عَلَيْكَ زَوْجَكَ وَاتَّقِ اللَّهَ وَتُخْفِي فِي نَفْسِكَ مَا اللَّهُ مُبْدِيهِ وَتَخْشَى النَّاسَ وَاللَّهُ أَحَقُّ أَن تَخْشَاهُ فَلَمَّا قَضَى زَيْدٌ مِّنْهَا وَطَرًا زَوَّجْنَاكَهَا لِكَيْ لَا يَكُونَ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ حَرَجٌ فِي أَزْوَاجِ أَدْعِيَائِهِمْ إِذَا قَضَوْا مِنْهُنَّ وَطَرًا وَكَانَ أَمْرُ اللَّهِ مَفْعُولًا (33:37)
33:37...cannot read this without all the blood draining from me, due to my understanding of the phrase 'wife of Your adopted Son'--I confirm I heard as much as far back as April/May/June 1992. See? You had Your chance to tell me, but despite sage advice coming from all quarters that You "have to just tell Her!' You elected not to give me a modicum of consideration, and the reason why the curtain on this Fellini opera has to draw to a certain, sure, unequivocal close!

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ إِنَّا أَحْلَلْنَا لَكَ أَزْوَاجَكَ اللَّاتِي آتَيْتَ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ يَمِينُكَ مِمَّا أَفَاء اللَّهُ عَلَيْكَ وَبَنَاتِ عَمِّكَ وَبَنَاتِ عَمَّاتِكَ وَبَنَاتِ خَالِكَ وَبَنَاتِ خَالَاتِكَ اللَّاتِي هَاجَرْنَ مَعَكَ وَامْرَأَةً مُّؤْمِنَةً إِن وَهَبَتْ نَفْسَهَا لِلنَّبِيِّ إِنْ أَرَادَ النَّبِيُّ أَن يَسْتَنكِحَهَا خَالِصَةً لَّكَ مِن دُونِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ قَدْ عَلِمْنَا مَا فَرَضْنَا عَلَيْهِمْ فِي أَزْوَاجِهِمْ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ لِكَيْلَا يَكُونَ عَلَيْكَ حَرَجٌ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا (33:50
33:50 (This just establishes that only the Prophet's (pbuh) wives are His wives, and not me or anyone else. I listened carefully after that last comment on Sign 33:37 posted, and for the first time in a long time, after hearing my name, I heard a Silence. 
Clearly, to say that my inexplicable behavior is because I am 'sleep deprived' or 'hurt' is an obfuscation on Your part, don't You think?)

{BTW, now that my brothers are in on it, the more I hear, "Your wife is beautiful," the more frequently my brothers interject with, "Steve is a Monster!"   Almost makes me wanna stick around and see that movie after all.}

And in the final analysis, why this whole husband/wife thing is a moot point between Us.

Surah 60 Al.Mumtahina (The Examined/Tested/Tried Woman)
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا
إِذَا جَاءكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتُ مُهَاجِرَاتٍ فَامْتَحِنُوهُنَّ
اللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِهِنَّ
 فَإِنْ عَلِمْتُمُوهُنَّ مُؤْمِنَاتٍ فَلَا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ
لَا هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَّهُمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ
 وَآتُوهُم مَّا أَنفَقُوا
وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ أَن تَنكِحُوهُنَّ إِذَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ
 وَلَا تُمْسِكُوا بِعِصَمِ الْكَوَافِرِ
وَاسْأَلُوا مَا أَنفَقْتُمْ وَلْيَسْأَلُوا مَا أَنفَقُوا
ذَلِكُمْ حُكْمُ اللَّهِ يَحْكُمُ بَيْنَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ (60:10
60:10 O, All You Believers (The Faithful)!
Should believing women migrate (come) to you, examine them (try them/test their faith),
God Knows of their Fidelity (Faithfulness, Belief).
And if you know them to be Believers, Do Not return them to the infidels (unfaithful).
They (these women) are prohibited (not marriageable) to them and they (the nonbelievers) are prohibited (not marriageable) to them (these believing women).
And give them (pay them) whatever they had to pay (earned) {yup, don't just pop in and out bragging about how you got me working 24/7 for nothing and then say how you all feel so sorry about it!}
And it is not a sin for you to marry them once you've compensated them 
And do not cling in defense of the nonbelievers (unfaithful).
And ask them for whatever you have spent, just as they can ask for whatever they spent.
This is God's Ordinance. He Judges Amongst You, and God Is All-Knowing, Wise.

The compensation in this case is not a dowry, but payment for services rendered and that's why I put up with the snide remarks about  my 'working girl' status.

Surah 15 Hijr (Rocky Tracts, aka Rocky Road)
وَلَقَدْ جَعَلْنَا فِي السَّمَاء بُرُوجًا وَزَيَّنَّاهَا لِلنَّاظِرِينَ (15:16
وَحَفِظْنَاهَا مِن كُلِّ شَيْطَانٍ رَّجِيمٍ (15:17
إِلاَّ مَنِ اسْتَرَقَ السَّمْعَ فَأَتْبَعَهُ شِهَابٌ مُّبِينٌ (15:18

Get Fuzzy
July 2013
'Object d'Audi'
15:16 Thus We Created in the Heavens (Sky) Constellations (Zodiac) and Beautified it (bedecked it) for the beholders (watchers) {And the Sky's Earth-bound astronomical analogs, cars like the: Chevy Nova, Equinox; Ford Galaxy, Orion, Taurus; Hyundai Equus (close enough to Equuleus and associated Pegasus); Mazda; Mitsubishi Eclipse; Oldsmobile Aurora; Opal Astra; Mercury; Saturn; Toyota Celica, Solaria; and Subaru (Pleiades). And the Earthly stratosphere-bound 'heavenly analogs' like Boeing's Aurora.}
15:17 And We Secured them from every cast out satanic (force)
15:18 Except (Unless/but/then) those who stealthily (remotely) listen (can hear, to learn),  are followed/pursued by an obvious/clear/evident shooting star/meteorologic phenomenon/meteor...

The fact is, SteveH, this is a job like any other, and now that I'm caught up in it, I don't want to be enmeshed with a bunch of slavers. The job description is 'path finder' (ie., scout, trail blazer--You know exactly what that means--I've even started logging license plates) at this level and why the expectation is payment for services rendered--without having to hear your wives' instructions as how I should go about giving you 'lip service'--which in fact falls within your own wives' job description, so kindly have them not get the office help involved in such personal matters.

Surah 48 Al.Fathh
إِنَّا فَتَحْنَا لَكَ فَتْحًا مُّبِينًا (48:1

Surah 110 An.Nasr
إِذَا جَاء نَصْرُ اللَّهِ وَالْفَتْحُ (110:1 
110:1 If/should/As long as God's Succor and Victory/Solution/Easement==pathway comes to you,
وَرَأَيْتَ النَّاسَ يَدْخُلُونَ فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ أَفْوَاجًا (110:2
110:2 And you see/observe the people (Nas/communities) entering into God's Religion/Judgment/Decree en masse (in crowds, throngs, troops, battalions...)
{It becomes very tricky to not take it personally and get all paranoid at the onset...what with all these followers in hot pursuit--obviously it's not because they want a date!}

You all but ruined my down time at the gym with the non-stop chatter and unsolicited inane opinions and comments you all freely make in yoga class and in the ladies' locker room.

And You, and this is personal, You know who you are, the very vocal one with the 'you are my wife' single-sound-byte mantra, cramped my social life to such an effect that I can't even get a dinner date around here.

Presumably all these individuals (both men and women) who want to befriend me and solicit my number, can't get through to my cell phone because 'circuits busy' signals--really, which cellular network with its multi-path, multi-cell, multi-telecommunication satellite (constellations) can produce that kind of heavily trafficked tie-up to my socially retarded cell phone? Hmmmm, very interesting.

{July 1, 2013--Based on that comment You made in passing, am I correct in assuming You don't like the dress I wore to breakfast this morning?

--ahem, Yes, i am peaceful, my Brother just made the scene and I am trying very hard not to bust out laughing that I hear ewes guys saying 'I wanna f** this woman all my life,' with all these nubile co-eds around---THAT's why I tell my brothers before they do anything else, on hearing this dabat (dabin) from the Earth, to take a minute to form the appropriate RESPONSE and DO NOT JUST REACT--he/she/it does sound like a real CREEP!

--I am about to cave in to the CREEP! All right already! Just give me the address and phone number and i will be there in the morning.}