Vive La Différence

It's funny when oui Americans try to speak French...mais non.

Before I go again, I think my Dad pbuh wants to weigh in on something:

"I have three daughters, there is my eldest, the very pretty smart one (John
met her); and the younger one, the reallly good speller (he heard of her, but doesn't want to meet her); and then there is my youngest one (meeting her was no picnic in the park...more like a day at the beach). After we had her we could only have sons. Of all the people in all the worlds she is the last one to be crazy. For the simple reason that she does crazy consummately well.

(She is a nondrinker, nonsmoker, non-recreational drug user, whose idea of a
soul vacation is to get out of school fast, become gainfully employed
in her own field, and marry for love (not money) and give birth to two children
while helping to keep her husband's fledgling business going all before she
turns 30--yes, she has a flaw--she can't cook.) 

Here is my impression of her crazy act: She is hale as a prize horse and rarely ever gets sick until one day she goes into a doctors' office complaining of an obscene amount of pain everywhere in her body and brings along a can of stuff she thinks caused it since she is some crazy kind of a chemical engineer who picked up her degree from some first rate school in New York City on a full scholarship (proud dad, can you tell?) and deduced she is suffering effects from having had a toxic exposure, only to have the doctor tell her she is crazy for coming in to his practice over the course of the past several months complaining of and being diagnosed with a host of various other ailments including but not limited to: 

asthma, tacchicardia, allergies to everything including histamine and anti-histamine, aggravated sinusitis, irregular monthly cycles, joint problems, swelling, migraines, hypersensitivity to light and sound and climate and other
neuropathy, mammary and lymphatic cysts, sleep disturbances, nausea, DTs,
skin tags that behave strangely by practically growing 2 cm during a shower and then falling off 24 hours later, and a host of other dermal, respiratory,
digestive, neuropathic, psychomotor, neuropsychic, non-viral non-bacterial kidney infections, and other systemic aggravated sinusitis, irregular monthly cycles, joint problems, swelling, migraines, hypersensitivity to light and sound and climate and other neuropathy, mammary and lymphatic cysts, sleep disturbances, nausea, DTs, skin tags that behave strangely by practically growing 2 cm during a shower and then falling off 24 hours later, and a host of other dermal, respiratory, digestive, neuropathic, psychomotor, neuropsychiatric, non-viral non-bacterial kidney infections, and other systemic maladies...but then there was also blue tinged nail beds, tears that burn her skin, out-of-body experiences, strange auditory effects that her toddler also reacts to, and yes, hallucinations that she knows are hallucinations because they are after all accompanied by screaming cluster headaches and otherwise known as aura

 ...never mind that her lab tests are abnormal, there is blood in her sputum and any medicine she is given makes it all worse! and her hallucinations get so vivid that they dress really natty and pull up in their SUV's in the middle of a busy intersection not only hearing but following directions coming from her auditory hallucinations and her kindergartner sees them and wonders aloud 'why do they look funny?' and the doctor tells her she is crazy and crying out for attention and deftly gives her a referral to see a psychiatrist.

And when it becomes clear to her the doctors do not or cannot help she makes an appointment to view her medical records because they made her doubt her own mind and she thinks she needs a reality check; and when she shows up as appointed some wild dog of an HMO administrator goes off on her and doesn't keep her wild dog thoughts to herself when she tells my daughter to take the elevator back down to hell (where presumably she came from) and calls the cops and tries to place her under false arrest for cussing and threatening her staff; but when the cops show up they see my daughter doesn't have enough breath in her body to even speak; so the officers threaten to have the wild dog of an HMO administrator arrested for attempting to make a false arrest if she does not comply with the law and give her a date and time to allow her access to her medical records; and one officer offers to walk her in on that day if she thinks they are going to give her any more trouble (she wrote him a letter to thank him)

On her return visit, she notices some key visit(s) are missing from her chart and nowhere to be found (not then, and here it is about 15 years later, and so far not ever; something did surface about 10 years later but it was more like creative writing and not what she knew took place during 'that very strange visit').

Things deteriorated quickly from there since being crazy pretty much kills a marriage where she comes from (not hell) and the only reason her husband and she stay together is because of a promise he made to me that he would take care of her and neither one of them has the heart to tell the kids (who pretty much figured that much out, but for their own reasons still prefer both parents under one roof over any other option).

And that's why We All Landed In The Psych Ward, and why everybody else on the planet gets to do crazy before she does."

...here is the subtext for those of you who keep insisting it is worth the risk; it is not that Michael doesn't eat but that he had not yet had the opportunity to wash up, since he was still in the paint during our little lunch...

I guess now you can all see why I love my Dad (and my Mom--someone please ask her to stop saying 'Land!' everytime she sees me, I find it a oui bit disorienting) so much; and why the usual manner of coming and going doesn't quite suit me...I mean, do I want to be 'born again' and have some other nice lady poop on my head? Or worse yet, be made to forget that I have my own children (surely no matter how awful my cooking it does not warrant that kind of punishment)?

That's why nothing short of a full Resurrection (Being Borne) will do; and in the matters of both coming and going, this is how we roll:

Surah 17 Al.Isra (Travelling)
وَقُل رَّبِّ أَدْخِلْنِي مُدْخَلَ صِدْقٍ وَأَخْرِجْنِي مُخْرَجَ صِدْقٍ وَاجْعَل لِّي مِن لَّدُنكَ سُلْطَانًا نَّصِيرًا 17:80

17:80 And say: "My Lord, Admit me a good/honest/truthful Entrance (Way In/Entry) and release me/allow me to depart in a good/honest/truthful departure; and grant me from Your Power an Authoritative Victory.

Surah 22 Al.Hajj (The Pilgrimage)
لَيُدْخِلَنَّهُم مُّدْخَلًا يَرْضَوْنَهُ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَعَلِيمٌ حَلِيمٌ 22:59
22:59 He Will Admit them in an Entrance (Way In/Entry) that Pleases them and indeed, God is Aware (Knowing), Patient.

And that, Dear Children, brings us back around to the topic of UFOs (You Flying that (those) Object(s)?):

17 Al-Isra (Travelling)
سُبْحَانَ الَّذِي أَسْرَى بِعَبْدِهِ لَيْلاً مِّنَ الْمَسْجِدِ الْحَرَامِ إِلَى الْمَسْجِدِ الأَقْصَى الَّذِي بَارَكْنَا حَوْلَهُ لِنُرِيَهُ مِنْ آيَاتِنَا إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ البَصِيرُ 17:1
17:1 Extol/Exalt the One Who Captured/Seized/Took/Captivated His Servant one night from the Holy Mosque (Ka’ba) to the Farthest (Most Remote) Mosque (Majid al’Aqsa in Jerusalem); whose precincts We Blessed; so that We Can Show/Demonstrate to him some of Our Signs that Indeed He, and Only He, Is the Hearer, Seer (All-Hearing, All-Seeing).

And why, while it may seem like I am blabbing secrets all over the globe, I publicize tightly guarded secrets with the confidence of knowing not a single word gets out except to those already in the know or the ones it is meant for:

وَإِذَا قَرَأْتَ الْقُرآنَ جَعَلْنَا بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَ الَّذِينَ لاَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِالآخِرَةِ حِجَابًا مَّسْتُورًا 17:45
17:45 And if/when you Read/Recite the Quran We Create between you and those who do not believe in the Hereafter a Secure Barrier (Invisible Cloak, Secret/Hidden Veil...)

and it's all in Good Spirit...

وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الرُّوحِ قُلِ الرُّوحُ مِنْ أَمْرِ رَبِّي وَمَا أُوتِيتُم مِّن الْعِلْمِ إِلاَّ قَلِيلاً 17:85
17:85 And they will ask you about The Spirit, say: "The Spirit Is At God's Behest and you have not been given knowledge/information about it except a little."

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"In women, courage is often mistaken for insanity."--Doctor in Iron Jawed Angels