Someone Started A Rumor

SomeOne searching 'been let down quotes' and 'you let me down' from unknown.unknown isp, then all traces of it vanished (and, howdie-do to our mangled-wire computer cousins at the US Army Signal Corp).
Not because there is any reason to suspect that being the case, but more than likely because someone started a rumor..that's why?
And it wasn't me. Nope, despite what anyone says I don't think I'm too good for You.
And if the let down has anything to do with my performance to demostrate my range, it was a training exercise-- putting a young-sounding voice to good use; and if my faulty memory serves, it culminated in the biggest bust of a worldwide child trafficking ring a few years later.


The phone records and chatroom snipe are probably still on your desk if not your top file drawer (and it was my cousin, Joey?, pointing me out to You in the middle of that unpartitioned office area, going through my paces on that particular afternoon--so, if I thought there was anything to hide I would not have been doing such a great job in a wide open common work area--with me being the only female in a 'bullpen' shared with 7 other male engineers, that's why it was called the 'bullpen').

And if You want to act like You don't know exactly what it is I am talking about then You deserve a bigger Oscar than the one I should get for my following Your 'I need you to go on sinning and grinning' acting direction from You Know Who?--You!

There really is no reason for me to live under such uncomfortable conditions, but seeing as how I don't even get what I work for and earn, I figure it highly unlikely that I can get what I simply ask for--not because I need any more lessons, but because I know there are more Powers at play than what those around me perceive.

For example, I have known that I am on the federal? payroll in some capacity as a government Annalist/Analyst since at least as far back as 2007 (maybe 2006) but I have yet to see a single penny of it--whatsamatter, having a little trouble making sense of the cumulative time?

See? I warned You--can't afford me?


Times like these I wonder why our family can't have our piano recitals in concert halls, like other families. (I know, it wouldn't be fair when Gabriel has more talent in His left nostril than the entire population that ever was or is or will walk the Earth, combined).

In an ideal world (Heaven) I should be compensated for exposing my (hare) brain for Your consideration on at least the same par as world class models get for exposing their...their...their wookies (ie., other admirable/bankable hairy parts on earth).

But, fair is fair, and my Father predicted that I won't fall for that little beauty trick either (Really, I overheard Him on my way out the sports club telling someone He has every confidence I can pass that test, too!--I don't recall Him laying any odds on it, though.)

Check it out...Testing, Testing...
Surah 18 The Cave
إِنَّا جَعَلْنَا مَا عَلَى الْأَرْضِ زِينَةً لَّهَا لِنَبْلُوَهُمْ أَيُّهُمْ أَحْسَنُ عَمَلًا 18:7
18:7 Indeed, We Created everything  of Beauty on Earth to Test people as to which of them is Best in Conduct

( I passed this Test with flying colors, especially the night of Jan 13, 2012, when a drop dead gorgeous blond was openly flirting with me as I worked deligently on a business letter that was to be only 'a couple of paragraphs' and turned out to be 1600 words.
Don't get me wrong, I was flattered to no end--especially since the last time that happened I was 16 years old---now that I'm a semi-centurian, her attentions didn't quite ring so True.
Besides, that's a no-go for me, seeing as how I stated my position about Women earlier and found it to be much in keeping with WC Fields' feelings about Elephants.
Moreover, if they also happen to be anywhere nearly pretty enough for me to sense any kind of familial connection, then nothin' doin' --sis, 'cuz, G-Aunt, hoaxter!--And the real Killer to this non-starter Test is, I've openly stated where my true passions rest.)

Surah 20 Ta-Ha (Can You Hear Me?  'طه')
وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَى مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِ أَزْوَاجًا مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَى 20:131
20:131 And don't strain your eyes in longing for the splendour of the life of this world, things We have given for enjoyment to matched pairs (married couples) of them through which We Test them: but the Provision of your Lord is Better and More Enduring

(Another gimmee---what splendour are we referring to exactly? Hauling his laundry hamper up and down 2 flights of stairs while carrying his baby full term because he's too special to help with it or that he never reciprocated any of the good she's ever done for him or the support she freely gave him because he somehow finds it acceptable to abuse the 'now found to be mentally ill for saying she suffered a chronic toxic exposure from working in a sick building for umpteen frickin years?" and threatening to never let her see her children again if she so much as flinched at the despotism of living under his rule now that he would never allow for a divorce and use emotional blackmail to keep her in check---yeah, if I was God and ran this kind of test on someone, I would ...deleted for seeming contemptuous).

Surah 23 The Believers (Faithful)
وَلَقَدْ أَخَذْنَاهُم بِالْعَذَابِ فَمَا اسْتَكَانُوا لِرَبِّهِمْ وَمَا يَتَضَرَّعُونَ 23:76
23:76 And We Tested them through suffer­ing/trials, but they did not humble themselves before their Lord; nor did they ever pray (entreat/plead with Him)

(For this one, I get a Gold Star. You wanna know why? I actually saw and heard the Witnesses offer to give You a front row seat to see Me Down On My Knees; apparently, I was doing it quite a bit for some number of years that You could catch that show with some regularity--I only stopped when I got the signal that it was pointless beyond a certain threshhold, see 15:98-15:99 below.)

Surah 29 The Spider
أَحَسِبَ النَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوا أَن يَقُولُوا آمَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ (29:2)
وَلَقَدْ فَتَنَّا الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِهِمْ فَلَيَعْلَمَنَّ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ صَدَقُوا وَلَيَعْلَمَنَّ الْكَاذِبِينَ (29:3)
29:2 Do people think that they will be left (at ease simply) because they say, 'We believe', and that they will not be Tested with hardships?

(Nope, never thought that for a twinkle, but I Never thought it would drag on forever, either, because beyond the first 5 Earth Years, that, too, became pointless!
I am not doing the waking up in a hospital bed Men In Black thing, and I am not doing the Groundhog's Day thing, and I am not waking up to any walk throughs of any other scenes from any movie that was ever made or screenplay that was so much as even accepted on spec, okay--that's it! I've Had it- I had it when I called Him a RedHead and He corrected me to say that Tawny is in fact the more accurate description of the color (LIKE a LION)).

Surah 44 Smoke
وَآتَيْنَاهُم مِّنَ الْآيَاتِ مَا فِيهِ بَلَاء مُّبِينٌ 44:33
44:33 ..and We gave them such Signs as would clearly presage a Test 

(I got the Signs, all right *alright, to the effect that I started a diary, and a blog to preserve them for all posterity & what could be a Bigger Better Betoken than THE Michael Himself announcing His Presence- that was not a Sign to Presage a Test in 1992, that was like AN ANNOUNCEMENT, but I still wonder, why Me? ---there are definitely prettier, smarter, richer, taller, thinner, more powerful people--and we still have a President to the United States, or do we? And of course, those who drive nicer cars.
What? Did the world run out of virgins?
I'd already had a kid or 2; now I hear I have over 100--not bad for a woman whose own husband hasn't so much as dated her since their 7th anniversary.
Can you even imagine what that can do to a woman's self image? Let alone, anyone's ego---psshhaw, nothing!
I keep pretty busy and I still prefer being a female to being a male; if not for the fact that we don't sweat as much, than for the mere frilly lingerie incentive alone.)

Surah 72 Jinn
وَأَلَّوِ اسْتَقَامُوا عَلَى الطَّرِيقَةِ لَأَسْقَيْنَاهُم مَّاء غَدَقًا  72:16   
لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَمَن يُعْرِضْ عَن ذِكْرِ رَبِّهِ يَسْلُكْهُ عَذَابًا صَعَدًا 72:17
72:16 ...had they but tread firmly on the right path, We would have showered them with Abundance
72:17 As a Test to determine which of them would turn away from their Lord; He will thrust such (as turn away) into ever increasing torment.

(This one leaves me in a Quandary.
I tread the path, as right as it could be in the mind of a neophyte.
If we were talking averages, like engineers are wont to do, I'd say better than the average of what I saw going on around me (note, better than average, not better than everything and everyone---averages are more meaningful when we are taking a populatoin of 7 billion, because any 1 Event (Person/Thing) in and of itself may be considered as a statistical OUTLIER!
Yet, y, y, y the increasing torment?--I passed all of the above tests, and not only did I submit/surrender/give up without prompting the first time, but I tried to do it again a few weeks ago--You may remember, I even waited in the cold night air for SOMEone to haul themselves in for me to SUrrender to, and they Flaked, giving me to understand that my Unconditional Surrender is not accepted under any terms---I must have really ticked someOne off.
I now consider that my major life achievement---now, if I could only figure out Who that SomeOne is/was and where they're hiding.)

And if the disappointment stems from my having stopped praying, it's only due to this little love note:
15:98-15:99 ...pray until ....Can You guess how I interpret 'certainty'? ...
What is there left to say?

That this is how much injustice has to be tipped against me in order that they keep breeding and breathing?

... Want another demonstration?

Sasha, tell us what book you're reading at breakfast table and your sister can share her plans for running for office?

---
My hands r not tied, I'm free

It's not that I can't, I won't

I am not poor, just broke(n).

My G-Aunt keeps wanting to chime in with, "You know, Dear, the boys keep saying it's a sin to talk about it; but, just between us girls, headaches are a lot sexier on the Men."